by Melody Evans
Life
Why am I in it?
What do I bring to the table?
Why do I bother?
Trauma
Struggling
Broken
Hiding behind a smile
Thinking
Constant rejection
Triggering
Why me?
Answers
The journey to find peace
Will I find it
Or will it find me
Hiding
by Melody Evans
Don't Stop
Don't think
Keep busy
Go
Go
Go
If I stop
If I think
I would have to face my demons
Scared of my emotions
Scared I will break
Need to stay strong
No
No
No
To giving in
To being weak
I've got this
Put up a front
Put up some walls
Look people in the eye and
Smile
Smile
Smile
No one looks at you deeply
No one see's that it's a front
Life goes on
Silence
by Trinity Rayne
I find that silence can be more golden than gold I find that silence depending on intent can be a move that's cowardly or bold I find that silence speaks volumes louder than stories told I find that silence can have value more than any money we hold I find that silence can sometimes be the very thing we need to heal I find that silence can help us stay calm when life gets too messy and real I find that silence can tell someone sometimes how you really feel I find that silence says words we sometimes don't reveal I find that silence at times can be good for the heart I find that silence from you to a toxic person can be good when you're apart I find that silence can make you see things more clearly and fresh with a new start I find that silence can be about as beautiful as art
Reflection
by Trinity Rayne
What do you see when you look in the mirror at your own reflection Do you see a lost stranger longing for connection Do you see a beautiful soul with thousands of stars in their eyes Do you see the universe, rainbows, and clear blue skies Or do you see nothing inside of yourself where everything is lonely, sad, and dull Do you see you and your life like a glass half empty or half full Do you see a child full of light and wonder Do you see storms, and lightning mixed with thunder Only you know whatever it is you see We all have souls that reflect things differently It takes looking inside of yourself with honesty and no deflection See into your soul and speak to its reflection Go ahead keep asking question after question Until you find out what it is you see when looking at your reflection
Accountant
by Laura Howat
Grandma’s farm ledger
Neat cursive mixture of German and English
Canadian tundra small town depression era quarter section
Every cent recorded
Sold 1 Dozen eggs .30
Sold 1 old chicken unplucked .75
Sold 3 young roosters 8lb 2.00
Sold 2 Bags Potatoes 2.50
Milk .14
Sold 30 lbs onions 1.08
Bologna .40
Wurst .40
Disbursements to husband and daughters noted
August-tobacco pouch .60
Gertie-busfare .40
Hildagard-Jupe 1.40
Grim entry December 46
Cash balance .04
Thought I became an accountant
To combat childhood chaos
Adversity score eight out of ten
Only missing two factors incarceration and addiction
Rules regulations job financial security formulas debits equal credits
But maybe it’s genetic
Or maybe I’m descended from kings
First person identified by name in history an accountant
Mesopotamia 3500 BC
Deciphered ancient Sumerian clay tablets pictographic script
Kushim
The tax collector’s importance
But now at mid-life
No matter how many times I work the calculator
Doesn’t add up
columns jumbled
lines disappeared
Water
by Trinity Rayne
Just like certain people water can be good or bad for you It can cleanse and hydrate or it can take lives away You have to be careful who to trust and on what you should say and do Water and people are alike and we all can't be kept at bay You may feel better and feel refreshed after a nice cup as you touch it to your mouth You can easily swim in it and drown Being around water and certain people can go south They can both lift you up or drag you way down Water and people alike can easily deceive They may seem fun at first tempting and inviting Just be careful on what you choose to believe They can end up hurting you in the end and be slighting Water and people can appear innocent and fool you with their charms Just be careful not to drown in their grasp Water and people can suck you in and cause all kinds of harms Dealing with water and certain people can make you breathless so much so you gasp Water and people are not all bad they have good qualities too They can make you happy and smile once more Water and people can have intentions that are true But their intentions can also be rotten to the core It is your choice to trust water and people or not They both have flaws and perfections alike Water and people can be all nice and not plan a nasty plot The other alternative is for water and people to attack and strike Water and people can sometimes be easy to trust You can sometimes let down your guard and be carefree But being cautious is also a must Water and certain people can also have their bad sides and go on a murderous spree Water and people sometimes you can be around them and you can trust then just let go Water and people can remain pure as a heart of gold Sometimes they can make things easy for you and then they'll be sure to smoothly flow But water and people can change at the drop of a hat and turn out uncaring and cold Water and people are not always as they seem So don't judge too harshly before you take a dive Water and people can sometimes be good as a dream Or you may struggle against them and try to get out alive
Asleep
by Trinity Rayne
I sometimes feel only good things happen to me while I'm asleep There are sometimes good dreams when I'm in slumber deep While my eyes are shut the world falls away I can embrace the night more than I do the day When I am asleep I can forget things temporarily When I am asleep I can roam my dreams carefree Slumber is the only way I don't have to deal with anyone Sleeping can be full of pleasure and full of fun As a kid we never used to want to go and take a nap Now as adults we enjoy sleep more and take less of everybody's crap We appreciate being asleep more and savor our warm beds We appreciate being asleep and resting our eyes and heads Sleep is sometimes our only time to just relax and chill out Sleep can be peaceful without a single doubt Falling asleep and staying asleep can be difficult and rare So try to get some sleep and dream good dreams without a care Being asleep is sometimes the only time we can get away from stress And sleep is sometimes the only way to escape our world being under duress Going to sleep is a great thing we can all take pride in Falling asleep when you need to is not a crime or a sin Sleep we need more of when we don't get enough Not having the right amount is certainly rough Sleep can be the only way to get away from things that are tough Sleeping is also great especially in the buff Take the time to go to sleep when you feel the sudden urge Then when you wake you can wake up with a new day as all the bad things purge Fall asleep when you feel yourself start to yawn Don't fight it and get rest ready to face the dawn Sleep is too good to be true and it's really a beautiful thing Even animals that are asleep during winter don't wake up until it's spring Sleep is your kingdom that only you can rule Sometimes being asleep is the only way you're not made the jester and the fool You can sleep dream and be your own master Sleep can be the only way we cope with disaster As you are asleep just lay there and remember this Savor the hours you do sleep for they are great bliss
Why
by Trinity Rayne
Everyday i ask myself some reasons why I ask myself the cause of depression and what makes people cry Everyday i ask myself why things are the way they are Everyday i ask myself the purpose of a shining star I ask myself why the oceans and skies seem to stretch on and on I ask myself why our loved ones will one day be dead and gone I ask myself why the world these days is under so much stress I ask myself why times have changed and were all under duress I ask myself why people drift apart with nothing else to say I ask myself why the hair on our heads go gray I ask myself and wonder why there is a victim being bullied by a jerk I ask myself and wonder why some things just don't work I ask myself why people do the things they do I ask myself why and wonder if others like me wonder why too
How
by Trinity Rayne
How do I survive a cliff I've been hanging down from How do I survive being swallowed if I were a chewed up piece up of gum How do I survive being shot in the chest by a gun How do I survive if my life was all pain and no fun How do I survive if I'm buried in the ground How do I survive if I'm lost while nobody is near to be found How do I survive if I'm forever alone How do I survive in the world on my own How do I survive while I feel unsure and scared How do I survive everything when I'm not prepared How do I survive attacks that are coming my way How do I survive and face a brand new day How do I survive my heart breaking over people I once put my faith in How do I survive when I only lose and never have a chance to win How do I survive and keep staying strong How do I survive in a world that has been imploding for so long How do I survive and press on to make it through How do I survive when I feel that I don't even want to How do I survive when I feel things no longer matter How do I survive with my world on the verge of constant shatter How do I survive and keep my head held up high How do I survive every sneaky illusion and lie How do I survive and just keep standing firmly tall How do I survive being constantly knocked down by one and all How do I survive the demons in my life I have always known How do I survive people whose true colors have shown How do I survive knowing I've been dealt a crappy hand How do I survive in this twisted fragile land How do I survive when all I have is ignorant bliss How do I survive the world being in apocalypse How do I survive and keep my head up above water How do I survive to keep from being sheep lead to the slaughter How do I survive when I've lost the will to live How do I survive with nothing else I can give How do I survive when I'm always wrong and never ever right How do I survive even though I threw in the towel and gave up the fight How do I survive when I no longer feel happy or great How do I survive when darkness is my only fate How do I survive when I feel lonely on this planet known as mother earth How do I survive when even I feel I have no more worth How do I survive when I feel that I cant go on How do I survive and come back after being so far gone How do I survive the storms in the days that come ahead How do I survive when inside I'm feeling dead How do I survive when I feel like I'm going down How do I survive in these waters I swim in when I feel that I'll drown How do I survive when I feel like everyone is out to get me How do I survive when I feel like a prisoner waiting to be free How do I survive because there's no one I can trust How do I survive knowing that nothing is just How do I survive without any family or a single friend How do I survive until the very end Please tell me how I can once again feel alive Just tell me please how I can be myself again and how do I survive