To Hide a Lie

by Ryan Montgomery

Survival is louder than denial

by Ryan Montgomery

Silence taped to my mouth

By Ryan Montgomery

In My Family

by Nina

My sister didn’t love me
She loved the feeling she got
When she talked at me
When she showed off her body to me
When she pretended to be my mom
When she pretended to care about me
When she told me I was ugly
when she told me I was stupid
when she refused to help me
Because she thought she was so much better
when she left the whole family behind
To go live with her beloved

in My family
My brother didn’t love me
He loved the feeling he got
When he talked at me
When he pretended to be my friend
so he wouldn’t be alone
When he lusted after my little child body
when He scared me
pretending to be a warlock
and a demon
When he bossed me around
when he was weird to my little girl friends

In my family
My father didn’t love me
He loved the feeling he got
When he talked at me
When he talked at me
When he talked at me
when he made me help him
with age inappropriate things
Things he should’ve just figured out himself
When he would shame me
For being a terrible and evil girl
Who was not perfectly behaved
With her extremely annoying and stupid father
Who demanded ridiculous things from her
Who demanded that she love him
Despite being so annoying and stupid
He loved the feeling he got
When we would pray stupid children’s prayers before bed
Which I hated
He loved my hatred of him
He installed that in me
he loved when i was mad and arguing
he set it up that way
he loved getting drunk and chaotic
nasty and scary and creepy
And never apologizing for it
He loved the feeling of lusting after my
bigger girl body
too

in my family
My mom didn’t love me
She loved the feeling she got
When she would do her beautiful daily chores
When she would do her beautiful sewing projects
When she would talk at me too
When she would water her beautiful plants
And talk to them so lovingly
When she would work every day
Helping all the old people
Better than anyone there
Better than all the Black people
When she would barely pay any attention to me
Or ask any questions
Or really give a fuck at all
when she would ignore my struggle and pain
I was just a child anyway
She was really fine as long as she was busy
Doing her beautiful things
And being her beautiful, beautiful, and so nice self

Nobody fucking knew me
nobody cared to know me either
They didn’t think there was a me in there to know
Because you know I was so fucking quiet
Because you know they were so fucking loud
So what would even be the point of getting to know me?
I was just their fucking appliance
silent Companion, punching bag, sex object, neglected little dolly, ugly sick idiot
Pathetic little bitch
At least we made you useful
That’s what they would say
If they ever thought to say it

They were supposed to help me be a person
They were supposed to get to know me
So that I could know myself
So that I could develop my talent and skills
and a real personality
to share with the world
So I didn’t have to stay there forever
and service all these creeps
So that I could service myself
So that I could be an actual human
in the world
So that I could go be with other actual humans
And not serve as any sort of
Role to fill someone’s hole
I didn’t get that

So now I try to give it to myself
to find it with others too
its all there’s left to do

Mom

by Susan Sewell

Monsters Aren’t Always Under the Bed!

by Susan Sewell

Cutting Deep

by Susan Sewell

Dear Dad

by Vanessa De Freitas

Screaming in my Head

by Shelley Smith

Like A Song

by Shelley Smith

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑