by Melody Evans
Life
Why am I in it?
What do I bring to the table?
Why do I bother?
Trauma
Struggling
Broken
Hiding behind a smile
Thinking
Constant rejection
Triggering
Why me?
Answers
The journey to find peace
Will I find it
Or will it find me
I Lost My Dad Today
by R. K. Wolfe
I lost my dad today. He didn't pass away, but he is still gone. He's gone from my life because I chose it that way. I chose to walk away from the abuse he carries with him every time I am in his presence. I lost my dad today because he made it that way. He pushed my boundaries beyond repair. He was supposed to hug me, love me, be there. Sometimes I look at my phone waiting for him to call, but I know he wont. Its not fair. Its not fair I learned to love you in the beginning. To only be let down in the end. Its not fair that I still love you even in the storm of abuse you throw at me. Its not fair that I have to lose you. but I do. If I don't you will kill me, and I know it. Abuse is abuse and your love isn't love. So no, no matter what, You can't be around anymore. I lost my dad today.
Receding Shore
by Laura Howat
Been walking on a rocky beach tearing apart my tender feet to find soft sand would be so sweet Follow the shore along crying fat tears I mourn wailing into my constant storm Too many traumas go forward bitterly committed to my trail of misery can’t shake ancestral history Can I let go my need to be in rain melt into seawater get free of pain stop marching toward an earthly grave let go my heart into the wave Leave disasters on receding shore in peace float away now released Waves rock me keep me warm perhaps I can transform
That’s My Dad
by Mark Pettersson
As a child "thats my dad" I told. With pride and glee I looked up to him as he stood bold. No-one could scorn him for fear of me, they would hold. When he threw his fists of anger in rage I'd shed a tear, for I thought he was a man they all should fear. Fear and anger should not be of one held so dear. The older I grew the clearer it became the man knew was not the same. No fear or tears when I heard his name, for this is the man who should be put to shame. Farewell my father of what I knew then, for no shame on me for what little I know now. A tear of memories for what I knew. A tear of sadness for what I rue. A tear of sadness for the man who stood before me, no more will see. No fear, no resentment for that man I called dad, I love him, I cared for him and mourne him, should be. For he is the man who made me, me. Dad I love you R.I.P.
The Void
by Trinity Rayne
Have you felt emptiness when you saw the dark gaping hole Have you felt grief hit you and fill up your soul There it was up there on the ultrasound screen Before you unfolding was a heartbreaking scene There it was what a tragic waste The dream to be parents was so close you could almost taste There it was staring back at you an empty sac There was no life in it only pitch black There it was in your view in plain sight The one you both loved but never met had lost the fight This was a test put on your marriage Sometimes it's the ugly reality of miscarriage There it was in that moment hope was destroyed There it was the dreaded void A few months later another baby was bred But it can never replace the one you had that was dead Even though seeing that one was different from the last It could never erase the image of the past It was hard to enjoy and revel in the new life that was to come It was easier to feel scared and glum It's difficult to get past feeling paranoid Once you see and witness the void But eventually after the void there's a beautiful rainbow with a pot of gold New life around the corner waiting for you to hold The void will always be there but you both have an angel looking down up above New life is near so treasure it dear with your love I'm sorry if this poem triggers anyone it's one I decided to write on my experience with a miscarriage years ago I know it's gloomy and kind of gruesome but I just wanted everyone who has experienced one to know they aren't alone and it's ok to grieve as long as you need to there's not a day that goes by that I don't wonder about what might have been but there's also hope after a loss and as devastating as it is there's always something beautiful on the horizon
Memories
by Trinity Rayne
I have memories in my head where I have smiled and cried. The memories haven't gone away even though you have died. Remembering all the good times with you makes me wish you were here. Your everyday absence makes me shed a tear. I want to relive the good memories with you so that we can laugh and smile. I'm only hoping this sadness is just for a little awhile. I hope to see you again and that it's not a forever goodbye. Until we meet again you are a memorable angel that's free and earned your wings to fly.