by Shelley Smith
Screaming in my head,
Dangerous words I can't suppress.
Run they said,
Don't look back with regret.
Everyone hates you,
You're not worthy of love,
They'll all break you.
It's nothing, not love.
In my mind burns this mantra.
Its taunts relentless & rude.
I can't silence you.
You're unfair & cruel.
& now I am spinning
The world just lays still.
All I see,
With love dear, is you.
More still than others.
He's all that I want.
But this cannot be.
I'm broken & stuck.
My feelings I hid.
I ran like they said.
But my feet wouldn't take me
Away from this yet.
In time I saw you.
I stood still for once.
My soul was laid bare.
For a man I now cared.
My feet have grown roots.
They bind me,
I'm still.
But the screams never stopped.
I'll run from this too.
& How can we be
if I'll never be free.
How can I love, if you'll just leave me.
There's no safety in this.
My head is a mess.
& I just see you.
I must put this to rest.
I'm not good enough.
In time you will see.
& Someone better will take you.
You'll be gone from me.
In comfort I seek,
A man who only sees me.
I need to be loved
The way I love thee.
& If one day he can be all that & more.
I'll run in to him.
No more for the door.
