Once Again

by Heather Rae

Once again here I am
have to wonder
where I've been
and if I had a nickel
for each time...
Time has never been
my friend.
A few bits of peeks
show the mirror
that it's been awhile
since the last,
yet still,
shadows run behind me
with tiny tapping feet,
the pitter patter
never leaves the
"then" quiet.
Round and round
catch me if you can,
want you to, you
have to,
see the walls, chairs, tables,
they all grow fat,
squeezing around me,
in me and me out,
there's no room
left to move, to breathe,
or just be.
life has become swollen,
red, hot, pulsating,
ready to own me.
it's rotten belly stench
traces up my spine,
"do it now, do it now"
someone begs,
see it looks back at you
and laughs,
I'll do it
and let the shiny
pieces fall,
fall everywhere
and anywhere,
it doesn't matter,
there'll always be
tiny pieces.
I follow them down
like Alice,
I walk the thin lines,
those familiar edges
the rip and tear
my soles
my mouth screams but not I,
I know better.
Better not look,
better not feel,
better not tell.
covering my ears
so I won't see
their faces.
I can get away fast, for now.
escape finds me
in the light above,
where I've been,
here I am,
once again.