by Elizabeth B
Whoever said parents can't hurt you is wrong. These emotional scars have been lifelong. Hoping for my mother's embrace. It's been years and there's still no trace. Mom, I'm hurting I need you. "Oh I don't hug you, boohoo." Mom, I'm hurting I need to talk. "Move on and throw away the lock." Mom, I'm hurting I need your affection. "The addict requires all of my attention." Mom, I'm hurt I don't want to live anymore. "Your life isn't that bad, what for?" Mom, Steve he's still haunting me. "He served his time, leave it be." Mom, I'm scared I need your love. This silence is choking me like a glove. Mom, I tried to tell you how I feel inside. "I'm not a monster, swallow your pride." You can't tell me I didn't try. Though, you'll still deny. I always told you I wasn't okay. I've always felt in your way. Without a present dad... You became all I had. It shouldn't be like living with a stranger. Mom, I feel like I'm always in danger. I don't feel safe, I need out of this place. All I see is your mocking face. Laughing as you gave me a one-arm-sling. You called it a hug and left a sting. I get it now, your ego wins. It's time my life really begins. You don't understand it's been like this since I was a kid. "You didn't say you weren't okay" but I did. I tried, I knocked, and you shut me out. That's what my inner child resentment is about. The strain was put on me. I just want to be free. I can't heal when I'm near you. It hurts because it's true. Most of the trauma I've faced has been under your care. Still, it's like you were never there. Do you know how hard it is to be an adult and have to deal with this? Yet, no matter what... it's you I always miss. Back when I was 8 feeling your love for the last time.... At least you've given me a reason to rhyme. It's your love I said I need... But this is just another poem you'll never read.
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